i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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