I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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