Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
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