Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
