This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Randomize