Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Randomize
