your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Randomize
