I wanna bring you to show and tell
At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
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