I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
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