I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Randomize
