if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
I am naked and annoyed.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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