I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize
