beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
Randomize
