It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
