You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
