guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Randomize
