Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
I wish you could order shots online.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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