They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
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