we made out on top of his cat.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
