if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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