Tell her she can't have a vagina
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
i will never coherently bang her
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Randomize
