Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
