Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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