you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
