the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
Randomize
