girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Randomize
