I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
Your mouth is God's brothel.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
