Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Randomize
