Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Randomize
