where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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