In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
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