whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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