I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
