Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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