with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
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