Got a toothbrush?
What a fucking waste of an outfit
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Randomize
