Pappa wants mamma naked
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
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