Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize