ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
