Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
I have grass duct taped all over my body
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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