just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Randomize