I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
