did you get engaged???
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Randomize
