every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
