Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Randomize
