She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
