this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
