She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
