is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
