Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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