I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
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