mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Randomize
