Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
