***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
