i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
