fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
