The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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