I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Randomize
