hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
And then my night got REAL pukey
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
