How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
