does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize