i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Randomize
